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16 Mar
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The Bachelor: Finale Recap

Finally one of the worst seasons of The Bachelor has come to an end. It was led by a man with a terrible haircut and filled with helicopters, losers, and terrible outfits.

THE NOT-SO-GRAND FINALE

Everyone left a winner --- except Jamie. She lost her dignity and she left as one of the worst kissers ever to appear on this show. Courtney got her name out there and Ben went skinny-dipping for the first time. Ben became the first Bachelor to go the entire season without a shower or combing his hair.

Final Dates

Lindzi had the first family interview in Switzerland with Ben's mom and Ben's sister, Judge Julia.

“Lindzi is the total package," stated Ben's mom. I forget what his sister said about Lindzi because I was trying to figure out what in the heck she was wearing. Ponchos are in this year, and so are capes.

Ben seems like he doesn't like anyone but himself, which is delusional because he ain't that much to like. Ben found a couch on the side of the road in Switzerland that hadn’t moved in 30 years, cut it up, and sewed a sweater. Looked like something the Brady Bunch would wear. Far out!

Judge Julia wasn't thrilled about hearing Courtney was a model or having one as a sister-in-law. Then, when Courtney arrived for her family interview, Julia was "blown away" by Courtney's impression and really liked her.
 
Ben's mother also said, "Courtney was a very kind person and I can tell she really cares for Ben." There should have been a camera at Ben's house while the season was going on, just so we could see the look on his mother's and sister's faces when Courtney was in the house with the girls.
 
On Ben and Courtney's last night, she gave him a scrapbook that the producers gave to her. The whole scene she looked like she was putting on an act. Every time she talks in her baby talk, I just want to give her a knuckle sandwich.

In one of the interviews Courtney said, "I could possibly love him forever." Dear Lord, possibly? I'm surprised Courtney didn't turn down the rose so she could keep the ring.
 
Whoever dressed these girls should simply be shot. Absolutely horrendous. Both of them were wearing capes. Like, Harry Potter capes. If I were ever invited to an "ugly cape party," I think I would wear that exact one that Courtney had on. She reminded me of that Cruella De Vil from “101 Dalmatians.” Who wears long black gloves when they know they’re about to get proposed to? She looked like she was going to a funeral.

I am so happy that this season is over. Ever since the skinny-dipping scene, we knew Courtney was going to win. With so many girls to choose from, Ben chose possibly the worst one. He was warned by many of the girls about Courtney and he dug his own grave. He knew he was choosing her right when she stepped out of the limo and used all the other women for tonsil-hockey practice.
 
How does Courtney manage to kiss someone with a lip deviation and an overbite?

After the final rose Courtney said, "We have great communication, we really do.”  This is hilarious because Chris asked Courtney if they’re together or not and she changed her answer twice and they said she didn't know what they are.

Ben then walked out on the stage and looked as if he’d been in bed with the flu for a week and hadn't showered. Chris asks Arthur what is going on with him and Courtney and he informs us that the two are happily engaged.

(This is something we all should take notes on. Whenever you are going on national TV to discuss your relationship, sit down with your significant other and make sure you have the same story.)

Chris randomly pulls a ring out of his pocket. Just so happens it’s the same ring Ben gave to Courtney. Somehow, it was magically removed from Courtney's finger and given to Chris! Both Ben and Courtney acted surprised that he had it and then he asked Ben what he wanted to do with it. Terrible acting.

Courtney came on the show and it went just as she planned --- minus the part about America hating her. She won, she came on to get famous, and she did just that. All the girls that got eliminated, they all won too.

After watching the show, they know how Ben is and that he doesn't shower and who would want to wake up next to that every morning? Ben got what he deserved. I wish the two of them the best.

Thank you to everyone who read this blog each week and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. See you in a few weeks when Emily starts her search for some greaseball.

Mike Davies

Follow forward Mike Davies on Twitter @MikeGDavies

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