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Lesley M. gets the race kick-started, sneaking a kiss as she and Sean pose for their cowboy scene. Lesley M. gets the race kick-started, sneaking a kiss as she and Sean pose for their cowboy scene. Photo By Todd Wawrychuk/ABC
16 Jan
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The Bachelor: Season 17 Ep. 2 Recap

Welcome back! This week’s episode was just an average episode. These girls haven't shown us their crazy side yet, but don't worry: It will get better.  Let's waste no time and see what happened.

One-on-One Date

129720-5126-ful-jpg 003853Sean whisks Sarah AWAY via helicopter to the top of one of Los Angeles' highest buildings. He holds out a sweet reward: a romantic picnic - but only after the couple free-falls 300 feet to the ground. Photo By Todd Wawrychuk/ABC

Sean picks up Sarah and the two fly off in a helicopter, tour the city and land on top of a building. We all knew the two would end up testing their "fears" and have to jump off the building. The 300-foot jump didn't look too bad, but I'm pretty sure I would have peed down my leg.

Sarah is a sweet girl. Sexy. But she needs to stop telling us she has one arm. We clearly see that. Just stop. Her personality is dull and I think that's why she's still single. I give her looks andher body figure two thumbs up.

How many times is the cameraman going to zoom in on that other arm?

Sarah received a rose as well as a make-out session. I don't see her around much longer.

Group Date

These are the dates I find most entertaining. Girls always complain about "alone time" as well as each other. There were 12 girls on this date and I would name them, but there's too many so I will talk about who stood out.

Sean announced the girls would do a photo shoot and the sexiest girl would be on the cover of a SkyMall Magazine or a book cover. One of those. Well, once it was announced, Kristy flippedand was overly excited. The Jagermeister shot girl said 100times she was "in her element " and, unfortunately, she won and got the book cover. She seems more excited about that than she does about Sean.

The girls seem jealous of Kristy, but that won't be for much longer once they see how she really is. You're all wondering, "Is this how she conducts herself professionally? If so, I'm a little bit concerned for her life after ‘The Bachelor.’ ” It's a totally normal thought. In college when she would introduce herself to people, even teachers, she would say, "Hiiiiiiiiiii, I'm Kristy with a K." That lasted four years. She's a certified creature and themuggle will be gone soon.

Pool Party/Cocktail Party

After the photo shoot, the 12 girls and Sean had a pool party. It quickly turned into one-on-one interview sessions with Sean. Some were awkward and others you could tell the girls were lying. Let me tell you this. When you ask someone a questionand the first word in their response is "Honestly"…they are lying.

This was the worst pool party I've ever seen. Here's who stood out:

Kacie B: Why are we calling her Kacie B when she's the onlyKacie? She was given the group date rose. I'm happy she was given it because it made all the girls furious. Especially Kristy with a K.

Tierra: This girl is a psycho, she’s gotta go. She reminds me of aJagermeister shot girl when you don't buy a shot from them.

Katie: She approached Sean and said she wasn't feeling the situation and that she wanted to go. Sean didn't hesitate and walked her out. Katie mentioned how she wasn't fitting in and I think I know why. Her hair looked like a raccoon was stuck in a bush.

Selma: Well. Grade A (this part was edited my @mick1919 ) Hopefully she stays around for TV ratings. 'Merica

Catherine: This girl has a great personality from the little we've seen of her. She told Sean, "I'm a vegan but I love the beef." I find that hilariously inappropriate.

Amanda: If you don't know which one she is, she is the one who wore the yellow clown outfit. She just forgot to wear the shoes and paint her face. She sat by herself all night. Seriously. All night. She had that look on her face like she was either really irritated with people or she had to fart. I'm going to say it was a combination of her outfit and a bad fart.

Second One-on-One Date

Sean set up a fake art gallery to play a prank on Desiree. To test her personality, he left her in a room alone with what he had told her was a bunch of million-dollar pieces of art. One eventually fell over and cracked and they blamed her. Kind of a weird/dumb prank. Desiree played it cool and, yeah, whatever.

The two went back to Sean's for some dinner and tonsil hockey. The two talked about their families, which I found hilarious. Well, first, Sean starts calling her Des. I guess that's her nickname. Anyway, Des tells Sean that her parents are still in love and have been her whole life. OMG. Theeeen, Des says her dad supports her mom and always will. Double OMG. If her parents don't get the “2013 World’s Best Parents Award,” then I'm going to snap.

Soon after Sean finds out her parents love each other, he doesn't waste any time and gives Des a rose. Then they made out all night. I think she will be in the final 5.

My Top 3

Desiree

Kacie B

Lindsay

Others with Roses

AshLee, Robyn, Jackie, Leslie M, Selma, Catherine, Leslie H, Tierra, Taryn, Daniella, Amanda and Kristy with a K.

The first few episodes are always a tough watch. But once they trim the fat, it always turns into a beauty. Thanks for reading and remember to send me your thoughts on Twitter @mikegdavies

Mike Davies

Follow forward Mike Davies on Twitter @MikeGDavies

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